I hate change, and I always have. With that said I am about to embark on a journey that will no doubt completely change my life. In one month i will leave everything I've known and loved to literally circumnavigate the world in 100 days (well 109 to be exact)...talk about a big change.
Ever since my first and only trip (so far) across the Atlantic to Israel when i was in 5th grade, I have been terrified of change. At age 11, I was not ready to see the devastatingly differenct culture most people around the world live in. I heard stories about war and terrorism and people being killed. I was told to wear a long skirt in respect to the people around me (I only had capri pants which at the time I thought was horrible of me). I walked hand-in-hand with my mom so that I could be as close as possible to the one constant that surronded me. I was terrified of the unkown and was relieved when our plane landed in Newark 10 days later.
10 years later, I have not let go of that feeling standing in the middle of Jerusalem promising myself that I would never leave the comforts of my perfect life in America ever again. 10 years later I also realize that not letting go of that feeling will no doubt inhibit me from being the outgoing and worldly person I want to be. The contrast of wanting to hold on to the luxury of home and the want to discover the world around me has left me more anxious, scared, nervous and overwhlemed than I've ever been.
In a little over a month I will step into those devastatingly different cultures with 650 other college students to explore the world that terrified me 10 years ago. I won't have the safe harbor of Mom's hand to hold onto or the reassurance that I will be home in a few days. I will be immersed in countries most people will never see and be shocked by the different cultures and customs most people have never experienced.
20 years from now I hope that I will be able to look back on this trip and say without hesitation that I faced my biggest fear of change head-on and will not only not be disappointed by the choices I made but be proud of the challenges I overcame.
Semester at Sea here I come...
